jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
