So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
