First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
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