I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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