This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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