I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
