in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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