O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
