The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
