Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
