Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
...so i touched it.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
