Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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