I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
do nipples grow back?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
