just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
