I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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