The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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