i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
my shit smells like andre
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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