is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
