I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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