Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
