i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
someone owes me an orgasm
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
