Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
