I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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