I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
