Well douche your snatch and let's go!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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