Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
