mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Dick very happy bro
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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