I can text with my tongue
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
