Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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