I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
