I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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