she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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