Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
