i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
