Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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