girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
