THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
