went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
a search helicopter?!
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
