Taylor Swift is so right about you.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
its liver damage thursday
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
