Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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