Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize