I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
