i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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