Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
