two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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