i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
