Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
