Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
this will be a night to untag.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
