Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
being pregnant is like rehab
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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