You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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