Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
