i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
