I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
