we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
